Tired Brains Melt Down

Not only does sleep deprivation slow one's mental and reasoning skills, apparently, lack of sleep makes one overreact emotionally to situations and events that would otherwise be handled with grace and tact. So says a new study. So where does that leave all of us hollow-eyed parents--especially those of us expected to perform at a place of business--when we feel like we are not much better adjusted or socially equipped than our toddlers?

I've begun taking half a sleep-aid tablet at night to get as much sleep as I can, but this is beginning to worry me. There are some days when I need a nap as much as or more than my toddler, and some days when I am absolutely unable to fight it--coffee or no coffee.

Toddlers and YouTube

When we have nothing to do, sometimes my toddler and I surf YouTube. Here are three of her favorite finds:

The Rhino Song
The Elephant Song
The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Family Cookery

Here is a nice solution to the challenge of cooking for a family of four, all with different tastes. I made this pizza and topped one-third of it with plain fresh mozzarella (for the kids), one-third with spicy sausage (for husband), and one-third with grilled veggies (for myself). Everyone was happily satisfied with this one creation. Success!

Wonkosphere

I am absolutely exhausted and brain dead, having been up since 4:30 in the morning. Was it the full moon? The first day of school for DD#1? Stress about how to handle the coming weeks? The nanny who never came back from vacation? I don't know, but I did want to take a moment in between getting the kids to bed and before losing consciousness myself to link to an interesting site I stumbled upon earlier today called Wonkosphere. The site describes itself as "your listening post for the 2008 presidential election." It also has a nice blog. Genuinely non-partisan, they update every four hours with all kinds of info on all the Republican and Democratic candidates, from the so-called "first tier" establishment candidates (Obama, Giuliani, and Hillary) to those who have no chance whatsoever (John McCain) to those the mainstream media all but ignore (Ron Paul, Dennis Kucinich, and Mike Gravel), giving equal weight to all, although, of course, I found no reference to any third-party or independent candidates.

Light Blogging

There will be very light (if any) blogging for the rest of this week, as I have no child care until next Monday. In fact, my older daughter is here with me at work today sitting beside me in my office cubicle. I am a firm believer in my kids having as much unscheduled, unstructured free time as our work schedules will permit; the problem is that there are not a lot of other school-aged kids that are just "around" during the summer anymore. There is no good solution for working parents during the time in between the end of summer camp and the start of school, but at least she seems to be enjoying herself today making artwork for everyone's cubicle.

Seven Years

I've been meaning to write something on the topic of motherhood. I know, that is such a huge and daunting subject that I will only be able to address bits and pieces in various blog posts, and it is hard to know where to even begin. I'd been thinking that as Noelle approaches seven years of age (exactly two months from today), I've been hard at work on this motherhood gig for almost seven years already! I can hardly believe it myself that I've made it this far. I remember how overwhelmed and awe-struck and inadequate I felt when she was first born. Today, seven years and another daughter later, I am much more relaxed and comfortable in my role.

I've been thinking a lot lately of all the ways motherhood has changed me inwardly and outwardly, as well as radically altered the general flow and direction of my life. (Speaking of "outwardly," there is a fascinating website where very brave women post photos of their bodies before, during, and after pregnancy.)

Our daughters are almost five and a half years apart. By the time the second one came along, it had been literally years since we had had a diaper, bottle, or pacifier in the house. It's very strange and wonderful to be back in the thick of it again, feeling a little bit wiser but very much older. Having two kids is more than twice as difficult as having one. It is more like exponentially more difficult. As a working mother I am doing twice the running around to school, activities, day care, preschool. And when I begin to think about adding up the financial costs of this endeavor I never allow myself to follow that thought through to its conclusion. (This article I just read today sums up some of the basic costs--minus private schools and college, the most prohibitive expenses of all--although it seems a conservative estimate to me. Babysitting costs for a night out? Joining sports teams? Piano lessons? Paying for full airfares and extra sleeping accommodations in hotels if you dare to travel anywhere after the child turns two? Not really addressed in the piece.) But there are moments, like this one, when the older one takes the younger one by the hand or squeezes her with pure affection, or when they are playing and laughing together and the house feels full of life, that truly do make it feel like the everyday struggles and sacrifices are all worthwhile.

Sicko

It's not a coincidence that I'm thinking of this film today because I'm home from work sick. This is the first time in years that I am getting paid to be home sick because in February I acceped a job that provides health insurance coverage for me and my family. It had been more than ten years since I've been in that position (having health care through my work), although I worked nearly all of that time.

I saw Sicko, Michael Moore's scathing documentary about the U.S. health care system, a few weeks back, and like most viewers, my initial reactions were of outrage and frustration. I've seen all of Michael Moore's films, and in my opinion this is his best. For one thing, he doesn't insert his usual gadfly self into the story as much as he has in past films, and this allows his story to unfold. Yes, his presentations of the English, French, and Cuban health care systems are one-sided, but so what? This is what makes a compelling documentary. I was particularly piqued to learn that in France new mothers are treated to a government-sponsored (free) nanny who comes to your house and helps with cooking, laundry, and looking after the new baby. That is in stark contrast to what new mothers in this country go through, often overwhelmed, in isolation and with only six weeks maternity leave. When the new moms in France are ready to return to work, they can rely upon high-quality child care that costs roughly the equivalent of about a dollar an hour. All French workers receive unlimited sick days.

It has only been in the last six months that my family has had employer-provided health coverage. For the previous several years we paid for a very basic plan that fell short of what we needed when our second daughter was born with health problems. The out-of-pocket cost of even minimal coverage for a family of four is prohibitive. Like many Americans we have been forced to reevaluate job and career options through this lens.

This is one of the most entrenched problems facing this country, one that none of the presidential candidates have addressed in a satsifying way. However, if only because the costs to corporations for providing their employees with health coverage are so exorbitant that it makes them less competitive in the global marketplace, I remain hopeful that in the not-too-distant future we will begin to see at least some reform on this issue.